A Honest Review of the Justice League

 The Zack Snyder version of Justice League dropped this week and this bitch is 4 HOURS long. Thats right longer than the Superbowl and the halloween special of iCarly COMBINED. Now in all fairness before we start to shit on it strictly because of the absurd time frame one must remember that Avengers Endgame (Considered one of the best Superhero Movies Ever) was 3 hours and 30 minutes. 

Okay now that we have addressed the time issue in this we can talk about the actual movie. The difference between this and Avengers is that Avengers didn't feel like over 3 hours of your time, fuck I could have watched a 6 hour long Avengers and still want more. And before we start with the Corbin this is a different universe they shouldn't be similar. Shut the fuck up. Because this is about as close to the same plot as you can get without flat out putting Chris Evans in one piece in there. 

The villain, a world devouring creature, comes to earth to retrieve stones, these stones have the balance of the universe in them and together they can alter the universe as you please. What movie did I just describe? If you guessed Avengers you are WRONG this was the Justice League. It was like if you had the emo kid that sat in the back of your social studies class and fought the teacher on everything write the script for Endgame.   

But not all of my issues are related to the Avengers. The guy who played The Flash is just not it man. He was weird and that monologue during that scene made me want to drink bleach (you know the one). It was like a cut scene in a 90s Nintendo 64 DC game. That also brings me to my next grievance WHY IS THERE AMAZON MUSIC EVERY TIME WONDER WOMAN DOES ANYTHING. It completely took away from the severity of every moment she was in. Like holy fuck just keep the soundtrack to the intense shit. How does this woman have bongo drums everywhere she goes, like do you hear the slow build up of bongos every time
Diane Carter's shit hits the water too Jesus. Also Batman with guns was strange, but I will get to that later. The last thing I will say about the bad things in this movie is that they flat out gave up on the plot when they bought back Superman. He is so OP that he basically struts in and kills everything there was literally no challenge after that. It just seemed lazy.    

However the movie had some highlights. I really liked the background story of Cyborg. I think it's about time that guy got some love because he was played really well and deserved some highlight. I also liked Ben Affleck's Batman fucking sue me. I think for what they were going for he did really well. Everyone is just used to the young dark crazy ass Batman and the world just wasn't ready for the older more reliant on technology Batman. And I'm not going to lie the plot where The Flash was able to run back into time to reset what had happened was a cool concept. And honestly Henry Cavill as Superman is just such a perfect casting that you can't really hate a single thing he does, even though they essentially just used him as a cheat code. 

Overall was the movie better than the original, for sure, is the casting of these characters good overall? Yes. But it is still not where it should be. DC at one point had the greatest Superhero trilogy of all time with Christopher Nolan's Batman, and somehow they still manage to fuck up what Marvel fucking killed. This movie shouldn't have been made before we got solid foundations in origin stories of The Flash, Cyborg, The Green Lantern, and Aquaman. Marvel wrote the formula fucking use it. 

Score- 75/100 if you love Superhero's you will enjoy it, but by no means will it change your life. 



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