Who Wins: Kodiak, Croc
Godzilla vs Kong came out last week and I’m almost positive none of you wanna sit through a pointless 4 hour HBO movie like Corbin did (check out his last week blog on the Justice League movie). So instead, let’s wrap our minds around some real life terrifying monsters and pick which of them would win in a duel to the death.
In the left corner, stands the Kodiak Brown Bear in Alaska. The Kodiak Archipelago (that’s a word you haven’t heard since 6th grade) is filled with some of the largest and most terrifying beasts this world has ever seen. The average male Kodiak Brown bear weighs somewhere between 1,000 and 1,500lb. To put this into perspective that’s like half the size of your beaten up Honda Accord or the same size as 2 horses. I’m sorry but one animal should not equal 2 horses that math just doesn’t add up. A horse is already at a size I’m not comfortable with. But along with the insurmountable weight of this fucking house is it’s height. A Kodiak is between 9 and 11 feet tall. Lemme just say that again, 11 feet in the fucking air. This motherfucker makes Yao Ming look like he would get cut from JV. So you’re probably thinking this 1,500 lb basketball hoop can’t be fast right; you’re dead wrong. Kodiaks have a top speed of 50 mph and can run at a consistent 15 mph for several miles. Now I completely understand why they say if it’s Brown lay down, because God knows I’m laying some brown down in my pants if I ever see one of these in person.
In the right corner, is the infamous Crocodile. Now there are a lot of different subsets of these croc from different parts of the world but they are all equally as terrifying. Like the 18 ft killing machine who lives on the banks of the Nile and has reportedly eaten 100,000-200,000 people in its 50 year life span (this dude really ate half the population of Wyoming to himself). Or if you wanna change it up maybe the 30 ft long 15ft wide croc that’s got a stronghold over a fat estuary in southern Australia. These things riddle the planet with the same killing ferocity that they had when they were taking chunks out of dinosaurs. The largest one ever caught was named LoLong from the Philippines. After it ate a 12 year old girl an entire village (over 100 of them) sent out to catch this beast. When it was finally brought in and measured after weeks of hunting it was 21 ft long and 2,200 lb. I don’t care what anyone says these things are real life dinosaurs who want to eat you for lunch.
Now a lot of you are probably like “peli?? What about gorillas??” Sorry to burst your bubble but a silverback gorilla is really just a baby back bitch when compared to these two beasts. So with that being said, who wins? If a croc pulled a bear into the water I think it has a chance of fighting it off and maybe getting away with a couple limbs. I’m no expert and I definitely don’t expect to be anytime soon; so let me know what you guys think. DM us on Instagram or give me a call (203-231-2256) and tell me who you think wins.
Peli
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